Voice Your Thoughts

Please voice your thoughts on these past blogs, and ask questions if need be. Also, if anyone has something to add, I'd love to hear it. Thanks! I look forward to reading everyone's comments!

The Result

The over all result of your Courtship will be amazing. When you are married, you will have a love with your spouse that is unlike any mortal love that you would have had otherwise. Your marriage will be sound, you will be full of knowledge and discernment, and you will be blessed by God in ways that we couldn't have imagined.

A promise given to us by God that I like to refer back to often, is found in the Scripture;

• Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and he shall bring it to pass. -Psalms 37:4-5

This promise alone makes Courtship worth it, because we know that God will follow His plan to the letter, and God's way is always best. Also, we will get the very best that God has for us, without the pain and drama of Dating. This is also truth because it comes from the Scripture;

• Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your way, and My thoughts than your thoughts. -Isaiah 55:7-9

God has given us an instruction manual, and the ability to learn and comprehend it. This is also one of the greatest gifts from God. Reading God's instructions will teach you more than I or any other human being can. These are my closing words on this subject. Thank you again for reading and listening to what God's Word has to say, and I pray once again that this has helped and changed the readers of this blog. God bless!

What to do while "Courting"

As you live your teen years through, even though you will have committed to Courtship, you are still going to desire love. And it will hurt, and ache, but I tell you now; it's not as bad as the pain experienced after having your heart broken. The old saying "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all", could very well be one of the most deceitful and false sayings of all time. For all of us who have had their hearts broken, we may "get over it", but it never goes away. When you sit back and reflect on your life, and you think about that person that broke your heart, what will you be thinking about? You will be thinking about the lustful times that you had with that person, thus, betraying your spouse once again (and you will have done it with the same person as when you dated, so you will have thought lustful thoughts about that person in the long run, along with the fact that you dated them to begin with).

So what will fill that empty void where "love" would have gone? There is only one thing that will fill that void and keep you content until God introduces you to your spouse; God's love. When you have nothing else to fill that void, spend that time loving God (and to love God is to hate evil, so technically you have already started that path once you commit to Courtship). But there is no greater comfort for you than the Word of God. The Bible has unexplainable comfort within it's pages, and here's the best part; It doesn't matter if you fully understand what you are reading. Just the reading of the Word of God alone will bring such comfort to your life. Also (this is key to Courtship and a good marriage), by reading his word you will gain a deeper understanding of how God works in our lives. It doesn't matter if you read Mathew, Psalms, Proverbs, or Revelation. The whole Bible is about God's love and his power.

With the wisdom you get from your reading the Word, you will also gain discernment between right and wrong. And having that is key in marriage and in life. Let me give an example; Think back to your childhood, when you would get a Lego set, and wanted to put it together. What was the first step to accomplishing that goal? You would read the instructions, and step by step, you turn those individual blocks into a creation that you could never have figured out on your own. The Bible is our instruction manual, given to us by God for the soul purpose of helping us through life and so that we wouldn't be a clueless, hopeless case. Life in general is one big puzzle.

The big picture is, if we don't read the instruction manual (the Bible) now, we'll be doing nothing but play catch up when we're older. And you can't use what you don't have, so when you're older and start a family and need that wisdom and discernment, you won't have it. You will be reading frantically, trying to gain that knowledge so that you can use it then when you need it. But you can't just learn the Bible. It takes years to gain wisdom and discernment, and on that note, you will never fully master the Bible no matter how much you read It. That's the next best thing about the Bible; it never gets old. You may read something this year and think nothing of it, but then you might come back to it five years from now and think "How could I have missed this?" The Word of God is alive, and it will speak to your heart and soul as needed, and more.

The over all message here is don't waste your teen years on nothing but personal entertainment. Spend those years with God, and prepare for life, and the long run result of your Courtship, Marriage.

The rewards of Courtship

If you aren't a Christian but have read my previous blogs, you may ask yourself "What would drive some one to do this Courtship thing?" The answer is love. If you truly love your spouse (even if you haven't met them yet) and want to give them the best that you possible can, this is the best way. Now I will admit, Courtship isn't always easy. But it is a selfless act of love towards your spouse. And if you truly are in love with your spouse, you will feel the motivation to save your best for him/her.

Something else that some of you might ask is "Why should I go through Courtship and miss out on the fun of dating when my future spouse is out there dating other guys/girls?" There is a very simple answer to this. Courtship isn't just about you and your spouse, it's about obedience and respect for God and His plan. Even if you ended up marrying some one who dated their whole life, your relationship will be better with your spouse because you exercised restraint. And God will look upon that with favor, and He will bless you for it.

A concept that I recently came across in a book helped me to get a perspective on one of the duties of a husband to his wife. This duty goes beyond loving your spouse and showing affection, it is the ultimate act of love. A duty that husbands have to their wives is to help them in their spiritual walk with God, and help them to draw even closer to him. But it's not only the husband's duty, it applies to both husband and wife. This is the biggest thing that a couple can discuss or do. It's the biggest part of being married. Having a partner for life is such a great privilege from God, and spouses should try their best to sharpen the other daily. To not try to grow closer to God, or to help your spouse grow closer to God is such a waste of opportunity, and it destroys the biggest advantage you will have in marriage.

I hope that this all has helped you to see why Courtship is such a special thing, and why it is the best approach to romance. If anyone has a question or comment about Courtship, or anything else that I've mentioned throughout my blogs, please drop a comment, and I will get back to you and clarify on anything that I possibly can. Thank you again for your time interest, and I pray that this blog makes a difference in your life, along with all the other readers out there. God bless!

Courtship

OK, I mentioned the term "Courtship" in my first blog (What is considered "Conservative dating"). Courtship, is romance in scriptural perspective. In essence, it's an exercise. By following the principles of courtship, you are exercising many scriptural qualities. Such as patience, trust in the Lord, and self-control.

• Patience is waiting for the Lord to bring his chosen person into your life. This can be a drawn out process, or it could be an immediate meeting. It will all play out according to God's plan.

• Trust in God is trusting that the Lord will bring that special person into your life at the right time. As we all know, God is perfect, thus if we truly believe in him we know that there is nothing at risk when you put matters in God's hands.

• Self-control is exercised during your waiting period for your spouse. Because you always have the option of going out on a limb and taking a chance on any given person that you might be attracted to.

These three qualities are essential to life, and living out God's plan successfully.

Let's go into more detail into the consequences of crossing the boundaries of courtship.

• For one thing, if you refer to the Bible and it's teachings, it is very clear about avoiding lust. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and have a romantic relationship with them (kissing, petting, sexual intercourse, etc.), you will have physically committed adultery with that person, thus, betraying your future spouse. But something else you should know is that nobody in this world is free of the sin of lust. So much as thinking an impure thought about someone of the opposite gender is considered fornication. But, as we already know, we as humans are imperfect, and prone to sin. THIS DOES NOT MAKE THINKING IMPURE THOUGHTS OR BEING ROMANTICALLY IMPURE RIGHT IN ANY CONTEXT! If we truly want to be the best Christians that we can be, we need to ask the Lord for strength daily, and fight temptation. The Bible says that the Lord will NOT give us anything that is beyond our abilities to resist. By knowing this, we have no excuse for not remaining emotionally pure.

If you truly want to follow God's plan and be united with the person God has planned for you, I have a thought that can help you visualize the following concepts:

• Imagine a piece of un-chewed chewing gum. Let's say this piece of gum represents your heart. Every time you become emotionally involved with some one of the opposite gender, that piece of gum becomes chewed. Now (for the big picture), when you meet your spouse and someday get married, do you feel proud giving that person used merchandise? Would you honestly feel proud giving your spouse a heart that's already been used, and is now been torn into sections (a small section will lie with each boyfriend/girlfriend that you've ever had and have broken up with)? It's not even whole anymore! Let alone worthy for the person that God made just for you to spend the rest of your life with!

For most of us (including me) this has already occurred (a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship). But it's not to late to preserve the rest of your heart for that one person. I too have fallen astray and have walked the path of "The Dating Game", but now I see the truth. And I am living to the best of my abilities to follow God's plan, and to trust him and put the matter entirely in God's hands.

I appreciate all of you (the readers) taking the time to hear me out and to read this drawn out explanation. I hope that reading this has made a difference in the way you view romance, and I pray that all of you will will act on this and let God rule your life in all aspects.

What is considered "Conservative dating"?

What would we consider "Conservative dating"? Well, according to our knowledge of the Bible, marriages weren't picked or arranged by the individual (most of the time). Marriages were arranged by the parents of each individual, thus, "Betrothal". Now, you aren't going to find many people that were betrothed by their parents in this day in age. However, if you look at the divorce rate of the Bible, and the rate of today, you will see an obvious difference. Now, I'm not saying that when you grow up you should immediately betroth your child, but you should definately have control of the situation. If the parent doesn't have control, there are bound to be problems. For example, why do you think that we have so much pre-marital sex in today's world? Why do we have so many husbands that can't forget about that one girlfriend from high school? It's because we all play "The Dating Game". Dating isn't an evil thing, when handled in the right way. But the key flaw in most parent's judgement in today's society is that they give their child too much freedom on the issue of dating.

When you were eight years old, was your mind ready for high school algebra? Of course not. That's because your mind wasn't mature enough. In the same way, during your teen years you are not emotionally mature enough to have a romantic relationship with some one of the opposite gender. How do we know this? If I were to have four girlfriends during my teen years, and broke up with all of them, what did I accomplish? I accomplished a bad decision, and proved bad judgement. Because that person wasn't the one that God had planned for me, but I wasn't mature enough to tell. And once more, when you break up with that girlfriend/boyfriend, one of you will feel pain if not both. But most of all, both of you will be damaged.

Our emotions might very well be the most amazing gift God has given us, but it's also the hardest to control. When a couple gets married, and they begin to spend more time with each other, their hearts begin to bond. Their emotions and desires become matched. This happens when your heart bonds with your spouse. But, in the same way, it can happen between boyfriends and girlfriends. When they break up and go their separate ways, the hearts that were trying to bond and become one with the other's are torn apart. When that happens it hurts you like no other pain. You feel betrayed, unloved, rejected, and maybe even used. This pain should never happen in the first place, and it wouldn't, if we followed the concept of "Courtship". (continued in "Courtship")